Not everyone has a fondness for bagpipes, but I do. And an appetite for Scottish history. Even more so for interesting and little known details that are not common knowledge. So, with that in mind, here is a story I discovered about the “faery pipes”.
Made by a MacIntyre piper more than 800 years ago, the ‘Faery’ bagpipes of Kinlochmoidart, are thought to be the oldest Highland pipes. The legend is that the MacIntyre piper had a dream where a “faery” (fairy) came to him…
* Please considered yourselves warned; this piece is satirical and intended for humorous purposes only. Please do not allow children or overly sensitive adults to read this!*
The following piece is something I found online many years ago, that I saved as a document and read every year at Christmas-time for a laugh. I don’t recall which website I found it on, so I apologize for not being able to credit the author.
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total — 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3 .5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75½ million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good children were to put out a single chocolate chip cookie and an 8 ounce glass of 2% milk, the total calories (needless to say other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately 225 calories (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or take). Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225 x 91.8 x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that night, which is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further, 1 pound is equal to 3500 calories. Dividing our total number of calories by the number of calories in a pound (20655000000/3500) and we get the number of pounds Santa gains, 5901428.6, which is 2950.7 tons.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that “flying reindeer” (see above) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not even counting the weight of the sleigh) – to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison – this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance – this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.
In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he’s dead now. (My apologies!)
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Perhaps my opinion is biased, but this country is fantastic! So rich in history, and such beautiful scenery, as people far and wide already know.
But it has so much hidden, or should I perhaps say, forgotten history too. Little nooks and crannies tucked away in the places we visit on a regular basis. Places off the beaten track that only the person with an explorer’s heart sees. I found one such gem last year while I was on my holiday here.
I had planned a solo day trip to North Queensferry, on the edge of the Firth Of Forth River, settled in between the three bridges connecting Fife to the Lothians and Edinburgh. I had gone there after finding out that the famous “Flying Scotsman” would be crossing the iconic Forth rail bridge that morning. It was something I couldn’t miss, and I wanted to find a good vantage point. I had expected there to be a lot of other photographers around, considering the location and great views of the bridge. As it turned out, there were only about 1/2 dozen of us…
Anyways, after seeing the train and having a bite to eat, I wandered around the streets of the town. The village is set on the side of a hill, and at one point, I noticed an old set of stone steps going down towards the river. “Explorer Jen” decided to investigate! The winding narrow steps led down to a causeway with high walls on both sides, with ivy hanging over the edges. And at the bottom, tucked in the corner was an iron gate built into the wall and a dark cavern inside. There was a sign on the wall saying that inside the cavern is Willie’s Well. It sits below the edge of what used to be the ancient village washing green (17th and 18th centuries). It used to be the main source of fresh water for the village. And local legend has it that anyone who drinks of its waters will always return to the “Ferry”. And that’s just what I did…
When my friend and I went out a couple of weeks ago to take in and photograph more of Fife’s beautiful coastline, we finished up in North Queensferry. The sun was setting, and we got some great images of the bridges. And I was telling my story of the last time I was there. It felt like I had truly come full circle, and that I was finally really home. Last year, I may not have drank from Willie’s Well, but I did have a coffee at Rankin’s Cafe just around the corner from it. And today, I remembered that my image above is now on a website of British historic buildings! It is also on my 2021 calendar, “Out And About In Scotland”. I’ll leave the links below.
I love the ancient traditions of my ancestors. Christmas-time, Yule or Winter Solstice, whichever you prefer to call it and celebrate, is a magical time of the year!
I stumbled upon this article, and thought I’d share it here with everyone. Some of the traditions listed, my parents did when I was young, and I continue to follow to this day. But there are a few on here I didn’t know about, and would like to try.
Learn how to celebrate the winter solstice with your friends and family using some of these great ideas! I hope you enjoy, and have a safe and happy Holiday Season!
Did you know that today is World Hello Day? Neither did I, until this morning. But after doing a bit of research, I discovered some interesting facts about it.
World Hello Day was originally started in autumn 1973, as a response to the Yom Kippur war happening between Israel and Egypt. It was supposed to send a message to world leaders, encouraging them to use communication and not force, to resolve conflicts. Today, people in 180 countries observe it. By communicating verbally, we can contribute to a landscape for creating peace. To find out more, go here.
So, “Hello” to you, my followers. Or, if you prefer, “Bonjour” (French), “Hola” (Spanish), “Ciao” (Italian), “Nǐ hǎo” (Chinese), or “Halò” (Scottish Gaelic)…because I just had to throw that one in!
… Or in whatever other language you prefer. To participate in World Hello Day, just say “Hello” to 10 individuals, either on social media, in person, by phone, or email. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just say “Hello!” I think it’s especially important this year, because many people are feeling isolated and alone, due to the Coronavirus pandemic. So, go ahead and spread peace and cheer! How many languages can you say “Hello” in?
Thank you for taking time to read this post! Please show it some love by clicking the “Like” button, and don’t forget to subscribe to my blog.
I was recently asked to be interviewed online by a tropical fish enthusiast acquaintance of mine, for his Facebook aquarium group. He was doing a collection of group member profiles. I have been in the fish hobby and business since I was 11 or 12 years old, and was happy to participate.
I thought I’d share that interview here today.
Where are you originally from and where are you based now? I was born in Perth, Scotland. Moved to Canada in 1980 at the age of 10 with my family. I returned to Scotland in July 2020, some 40 years later…
How long have you been in the hobby? My dad bought our family a used aquarium when I was 11 or 12. It became a favourite project for my mom and I. Over the years, I have kept & bred a variety of fish, including African cichlids, livebearers, including Goodeids and rare varieties, catfish, plecos and loaches. I adore Neocaridina and Caridina dwarf shrimp. As I have recently just gotten back into the hobby after my move, I only have one 35 gallon community aquarium set up. But that will change! One of my favourite all-time fish is the Rummy-nose tetra. Their little red noses make me think of cute little drunk guys!
Are you an all-rounder or do you have specific knowledge in some areas over others? As I mentioned previously, I love the livebearers and Goodeids. I have received my Senior Specialist certificate for breeding livebearers. (CAOAC award). I also breed plecos and dwarf shrimp. I have kept lots of varieties of fish; tetras, African cichlids and catfish, a variety of South American catfish, loaches and botias, rainbow fish, bettas and more. I have also had several ponds over the course of my adult life. One of my favourite goldfish is the Shubunkin. No two are alike!
If you were to give any advice to someone starting out in the hobby what would it be? Take it slow. Ask questions! People are willing to help you. Don’t overfeed, and get yourself some healthy, good quality fish from a decent LFS or breeder.
What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you in the hobby, tell us about it? *Embarrassing moment alert! When I was 19, I worked for the brand new Big Al’s aquarium store in London Ontario. A couple of months in, we had word that Big Al himself was coming to visit the store. We had it in tip top shape. I was working that morning, and doing water changes on a saltwater aquarium. My manager came around the corner to introduce Big Al to me, just as I was sucking water down the siphon hose. Yep, I got a big mouthful of salt water and ended up gagging into the pail. What a first impression!
What’s the best thing that’s happened to you in the hobby? I find it rewarding when my fish are healthy and breed. Watching baby plecos come out of the breeding tube for the first time is great! But I was super excited when my crystal red Caridina shrimps bred. I was looking in as I fed them one day, and there, toddling along the substrate, was a teeny, tiny mini shrimp! That colony bred several generations for me, and are now with a friend of mine in the hobby and still doing amazingly well. Taking my fish to the shows and having them place in the top 3 of their classes is also rewarding. As well as receiving my livebearer specialist and advanced specialist awards.
Tell us a couple of things about you that members would not know and would be interested about? I recently became a best-selling author, thanks to my contributions to a collaborative book project. I am also a photographer and blogger, and working on a couple of new book ideas. I am a photographer also, and am currently awaiting my latest calendar of Scotland photography to be printed. Since coming back to Scotland, I have been active on Band (aquarium forums) and started a group for people in my local area to buy/sell/trade tropical fish and supplies.
I really enjoy keeping tropical fish. I find aquariums to be relaxing and therapeutic, and a great way to introduce youngsters to the natural world. It’s also a great way to make new friendships! Aquarium clubs are a great place to learn and get your hands on some amazing, healthy, and often hard-to-get tropical fish. I have often been heard saying, “Aquariums are like potato chips; you can’t have just one!” You can check out my aquarium YouTube channel here.
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Also known as Samhain, All Hallow’s Eve, or All Saints Eve.
It is celebrated on October 31st in many countries around the world. It is associated with pumpkin carving, trick or treating, scary movies and ghost stories. But what is it really? Where did it come from?
The ancient Celts celebrated a Pagan festival they called Samhain, which marked the end to their harvest season and the Celtic New Year (November 1st) which marked the beginning of the long, dark winter. It is known that Celtic days started and ended at sunset, so the celebrations began after sunset on October 31st and ran into November 1st. They gathered en mass, ate huge feasts, and had large bonfires to ward off ghosts and wore disguises to protect themselves from evil spirits.
They also believed that the veil between the world of the living and the Otherworld was thinner at this time of year, as well as the Spring fire festival of Beltaine. Spirits and fairies could travel to our world, and the souls of the dead could visit their homes, so a place was set for them at the table. The Pagan gods were also offered gifts of food and drink, and it is said that sacrifices were made to appease them and bring good fortune for the coming year.
As with many Pagan holidays, the early Christians incorporated it into their own religious beliefs. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III deemed November 1st to be All Saints Day. Over time, this holiday began to include some of the traditions associated with Samhain, and eventually became what we know as Halloween.
In western societies, carving pumpkins, wearing costumes and trick or treating are all standard Hallowe’en activities. But I remember my Hallowe’en evenings living in Scotland. We would have the fireplace going, there would be traditional roasted nuts, and we would “bob” for apples. And we would have a turnip lantern carved by my mum. Pumpkins were not commonplace in the UK back then. “Guisers” (people in disguise) would come to our door, but they had to perform to earn their treat. A song, or a poem. These are just a few of the commonplace traditions in Ireland and Britain. Fortune telling games are also still popular, including “scrying”, or mirror gazing. Gazing into the fires was also a method of divination.
Hallowe’en didn’t reach North America until Colonial times, and it wasn’t well received by the Puritan societies of New England. However, with the immigration of thousands of Irish and Scottish in the late 18th and into the 19th centuries, it became more popular and spread across the country, with peoples of different race, social stature and religions.
Hallowe’en this year is a different beast altogether. Thanks to Coronavirus, trick or treating has been cancelled. Large groups are not allowed to gather, so no parties either. But there are still treats to be eaten, scary movies to watch, and traditions we can still participate in at home. So if you celebrate, grab a blanket and flashlight (torch) and tell ghost stories, cuddle up on the couch with a pet and a good Hallowe’en movie, or read about haunted places. Whatever you do, have a safe and spooky night!
It’s been awhile since I did one of these. Not that my life doesn’t have humour in it. Living with two kittens provides loads of funny moments. But this morning, it was Amazon’s Alexa that was a source of entertainment for me.
I recently purchased the Echo Dot, after much hemming and hawing about whether or not I wanted a “Smart” device in my home. Like many people, I’ve heard the stories of Alexa knowing about private conversations, or Google targeting ads at people after they’ve only mentioned the item in question. So I was a little wary. Who needs big business spying on us in order to get more or our hard-earned money?
But last week, Amazon had their “Prime Days” sale. The Dot was a really good price, and I had been considering getting some smart plugs or light bulbs to set up with Alexa, since the nights are getting longer. I bit the bullet! My device arrived a few days ago, and I have been getting it set up and connected, playing around with shopping lists and other basic commands.
I discovered that there’s a lot more it can do than I had previously realized. One of the neat things is that you can ask for an inspirational quote. I’ve tried this a couple of times. Today, I changed it up a bit and asked for a love quote. Yes, I’m a romantic! Here was Alexa’s response:
“Roses are edible, violets are too, here are some chocolates; they’re easier to chew.”
Well, I nearly sprayed coffee all over my laptop! Apparently, there are other entertaining things to ask your Alexa device, in order to get a funny reply. I’m going to have to explore this further when I have some free time!
In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed today’s Friday Funny. If you enjoyed this post, please show it some love by giving it a “Like”, and don’t forget to subscribe to my blog.
Firstly, I must say, I really DO love my kittens. They are great company and an endless source of entertainment for me. But some days, we have minor disagreements. It’s not easy living with a pair of ninja kleptomaniacs!
This morning, I caught Hamish slinking past me with something brown in his mouth. He had been in the kitchen, and I knew I should have checked to see what he was up to. The brown object in question was an egg shell from my breakfast. For Pete’s sake! 🙀
But what I failed to realize was that he had already stolen one previously, and taken it into the bedroom. When I realized that the cats were in there together, I investigated. And there on top of my yet-unmade bed were two innocent looking kittens among a scattering of broken egg shells.
And they were quite amused as they watched me sweep and pick up all the tiny shatterings they had created. You know what the worst part is?? I had just put fresh bedding on yesterday. Unbelievable!
Like I said at the beginning, it’s a good thing I love the little monsters! But eggshells in my bed? That’s the craziest thing they’ve done so far. I have no idea where they get their ideas from, but life with them around is certainly not dull!
I hope you enjoyed this post. Please show it some love by giving it a “Like”. And don’t forget to subscribe to my blog. This story, and similar ones will be included in my new humourous book about cats. Stay tuned for details!
When I found out I had breast cancer, it was a scary experience. A few years later, when I was told it had returned, was even scarier. But I’m lucky enough to have a great group of friends and family who were there for me, offering support, well wishes and a shoulder to cry on.
One of these people was my aunt’s cousin Joan in Scotland. Joan first met me when I was only days old. When she heard the news of my diagnosis, she was jumped into action.
One day, to my surprise, I received a package from Scotland in the mail. (I was still living in Canada). It was a “Hamish McCoo” poster from the Steven Brown art collection. So colourful and cheery! He’s holding a thistle in his mouth, and has the Scottish saltire flag draped over one horn. If you’ve never heard of Steven Brown Art, I suggest you check him out! I’ll put a link in at the bottom of this post.
I had intended to have my poster framed and hung, but somehow never got around to it. So he sat, rolled up, in a clean safe place for 2 years.
When I decided to move back home to Scotland, I knew I had to bring Hamish with me. So, I popped him into a poster mailer tube and sent him off to Scotland again. But he had to take the slow route. And nearly 2 1/2 moths later, he finally arrived yesterday.
I knew Joan would know of the perfect place to have Hamish framed, and she didn’t disappoint! We were planning on going to Kirkcaldy for lunch, and she knew of a framer not far away. I was so happy to see the finished result, and take Hamish back to his new home. As you can probably tell, I wasn’t long in getting him mounted on my wall!
So, two years and two trips across the ocean later, Hamish’s adventure is over, and he is happily situated in his home. Here, as promised, is the link to Steven Brown Art. He also has a Facebook page.
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